Back in the days of the old Nanaimo Daily News, we had a huge, elongated oval table smack dab in the middle of the newsroom.
While not especially aesthetically pleasing, it did provide for one thing – some unique conversations. While many were derailed by some comically long 'noooooooooo' declarations in response to story pitches, the talks were often interesting.
Sometimes they were serious, other times not so much but informative and entertaining was what we were shooting for. And sometimes, it took us down strange paths.
A week or so back, I was reminded of an old conversation when I saw folks online poking fun at Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes for (gasp!) his willingness to put ketchup on his steak.
Say it isn't so, Patrick, the scornful masses declared all over again.
I shrugged my shoulders. What's so bad about ketchup on anything? I recalled asking for the thoughts of friends outside the newsroom, so I went searching and found this on one of my social media feeds:
"What are your thoughts on ketchup? Greatest thing ever or something to be shunned by those with refined palates? What do you put it on... fries, hot dogs, eggs, mac and cheese, broccoli? Should restaurants sell cold meatloaf and ketchup sandwiches? Is it acceptable or heretical to put it on steak? Have you seen anyone put it on pizza? Mashed potatoes?…"
I was mildly surprised then that most people didn't share my fondness for ketchup. Is it still the same with your readers out there? Am I on an island?
I've mentioned before I mostly have the palate of a 10-year-old. The things I liked then are the things I like now. I'm always willing to try new things, tastes and cuisines. (My Mum, who was a fantastic cook, would dispute that, but I'm slowly evolving). But in the end, I just come back to what I like.
Many of my school lunches as a youngster included the delicacy that was cold Prem and ketchup sandwiches. For those unfamiliar, Prem was a gelatinous meat slab in a can, very similar to Spam. Allow those sandwiches to be squished and tossed around in my flimsy brown lunch bag and it somehow became worthy of a Michelin star. So good.
Growing up in households with plenty of British food, HP Sauce was always a table staple. I watched in fascination as the adults put it on eggs and all kinds of other stuff. I found it repulsive. Eventually, I started trying ketchup in similar fashion. Magic unlocked.
It was the 'eat everything on your plate or go to bed hungry' era, and I'd found a loophole. As long as I had a sneaky dollop of ketchup on my plate, I could get through anything.
Green beans? Dip 'em in ketchup. Parsnips? Dip 'em in ketchup. Beets? Dip 'em in ketchup. No gravy for the mashed potatoes? Well, you know what might just help out there? Yes indeed, add some ketchup.
To this day, my loved ones find this as gross as you probably do. I know right now you're all imagining me checking over my shoulder before adding a squeeze of ketchup to some leftover cold spaghetti. (It didn't look as appetizing when those purple and green ketchup variations came out... remember those?)
I do admit, my fondness for the majestic red nectar is probably more rooted in rescuing me from staring at cold green beans for three hours than it is obsessing over the actual taste, but there's no turning back now.
And yes, I've seen the now endless forms of ketchup available and their bizarre offshoots (Tarchup, Mayochup and so on). But I remain pretty loyal to good, old regular ketchup.
The one thing I didn't really like it on? That's right... steak. No real explanation, other than maybe the burn of the entire world's judging gaze, but I didn't like the taste combination. So I've got that going for me, I guess.
What's your favourite odd food and/or condiment combination? Something others might be grossed out by or maybe love to try themselves? Something I should use in place of ketchup? Send those combos and suggestions my way.
PQB News/VI Free Daily editor Philip Wolf welcomes your questions, comments and story ideas. He can be reached at 250-905-0029 or via email at philip.wolf@blackpress.ca.
