Jillian Roberts, a clinical psychologist and professor of educational psychology at UVic, has written a children’s book to help young readers foster lasting friendships.
The Friendship Guide, which will hit bookshelves on Feb. 11, offers kids valuable buddy-building tips, each of which is informed by Roberts' decades of in-clinic youth counselling experience.
“It's completely centred around this idea that there’s a number-one friendship rule," said Roberts. “To have friends, you must first be a good friend. Then I take children through what being a good friend looks like.”
The psychologist, who owns counselling clinics in Victoria, Sidney and Langford, was driven to write the book to help address problems that stem from the pandemic.
“Some kids were quite lucky in that they had siblings or other people that they isolated with, but there were numerous children that didn't have that, and so they were lonely and isolated and didn't have opportunities for play,” said Roberts.
Many of the youngsters lacking peer connections had trouble readjusting to group and social settings post-COVID-19, and Roberts is optimistic The Friendship Guide will help them mitigate these challenges.
“When ... kids went and integrated back into the community, it was a little bit of a shock to the system for some,” said Roberts. “One way was just lacking confidence, like not knowing how to ask to participate in play or ask to join a social group.”
She added that, left unaddressed, these challenges can pose long-term problems.
“What could come from that could be loneliness. It could be not having a solid sense of self. It could be not being able to choose friendship groups that are healthy and functional,” she said. “If we don't experience that sense of belonging in our community or with a group of friends, that plays havoc in our psyche.”
Roberts is also optimistic her new work will help parents chat openly with their children about social isolation and relationship building.
"If we're talking with young children about friendship skills, and we're teaching it just like we teach everything else, it sends the message to kids that we don't expect that they have all this figured out,” said Roberts. "For those families that are wanting to do something and be helpful to their child right now, the book gives families a really, really solid starting point.”
